Pozharskiye Cutlets

Famous Russian cutlet recipe, favoured by Nicholas I.

Despite what seems to be a massive amount of butter required, they're rather light, yet creamy.

1. Prepare 2 medium-sized and 1 extra large bowl, a few plates and a regular frying pan.

2. Get the chicken out of the cold and into the XL bowl. Butter, too, but onto a plate.

4. While they warm up, crumb up the bread. By hand. The smaller, the better. If you're using store-bought crumbs, just put those into a bowl.

5. Mince the chicken, if necessary. Mince the onions, if you desire them. Divide butter, once softened, into medium bits.

6. Add eggs to the meat and put a few into a medium bowl; mix both bowls' contents thoroughly.

7. Add the spices, salt and/or sauce of your choosing. Some may consider this barbaric, but I found that Heinz's mustard ketchup works exceptionally well with the recipe. They'll come out a tad red, though.

8. Add the softened-up butter to the XL bowl and mix thoroughly.

9. MAKE A TEST CUTLET by rolling up a small ball of the mince, then dipping it into the bread, then into the eggs, then into the bread again, compounding the breading slightly between dips. More dips means less leaked butter/juice, but don't overdo it lest you want more bread than meat in your cutlet.

10. Fry, let cool and then taste the cutlet. (Pozharskiye are very juicy, so liquid in the pan is to be expected.)

11. If unsatisfied, add more flavoring or throw everything away. If satisfied, repeat step 9. (Most cutlet sizes work well. Haven't tried making giant or tiny ones, though.)